earthsquatter

Read about UrSweetLullaby’s take on marriage, relationships and affairs. And I fully agree with her that people go into affairs because deep down inside, they want it to happen. People often try to justify their actions with all sorts of reasons – I cannot help myself, I don’t love my spouse anymore because [insert reason here], I was seduced etc.

Of all the reasons, I think the most common one that people cite would be – I cannot help myself. But really, what is “I cannot help myself” but an excuse? Are we really animals that cannot control our feelings, emotions and actions? Even animals with conditioning, can learn to control their impulses, much less humans. Why not just admit that you want it to happen?

I’m not adopting a holier-than-thou attitude. After all, who is to say that I will not find myself in that kind of situation someday? I am quite disappointed in the so-called “institution of marriage” anyway,  after seeing so many cases where it is not honored.

But I think I will resist being a third party. In part because personally, I think it is wrong, but selfishly, more so because I am not someone who is satisfied with stolen hours. It’s not about physical intimacy only. Women usually cannot separate the sex and the love. Often, the latter can do without the former but not vice versa. When I give my heart, I give it totally. I expect the same from the other. I don’t want to share. I would want more, not just time that he can spare. And if I am “the other woman”, I will never have more.

If I know I can’t, I rather not have it. Because for me, the happiness that I would feel when together will never outweigh the unhappiness that I feel when he is not with me. Yes, I am still a stupid, hopeless romantic at heart.

Whoever immortalised the phrase – 不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有, doesn’t speak for everyone.